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11 August 2010 @ 06:35 pm
Valve trademarks DOTA after hiring some DOTA guys and being really quiet about it alongside their hiring of the Alien Swarm guys from Unreal Tournament 2004. It looks like Valve is going to start doing non-shooters.
http://www.gamespot.com/news/6273160.html (Also duke nukem's voice actor is in it? WHAT)

Gearbox might be reviving Duke Nukem Forever. (it was like 70% done anyway so it's totally feasible)

Ken Levine's new shooter following his work on Bioshock 1? 

Last but not least, TF2 will receive in 1 month (valve time) a feature overhaul + new game mode + the 20 weapon polycount pack update made by fans.



Mafia 2 demo impressions:
After some tweaking to get it working properly on my PC I gotta say the physics are p crazy. But physics don't make a game amazing. What makes a game amazing is a Starcraft 2 OCD attention to detail dev team so that when you're playing the game you notice new little details each time. It's a pretty rock solid game and thank god (on PC at least) there is no auto aim or lock-on aim, which pretty much killed GTA for me as a series. Definitely might buy this game.
18 March 2010 @ 02:17 pm
Writing this here because some of the guys watching me on FA are stupid whiners that hate the new direction SC is going in.

First and foremost I find myself wanting to try the game on my PC as opposed to my Xbox because:
1) Keyboard and mouse helps aiming
2) My TV is too dark/too bright
3) My TV's sound sucks

That said, I replayed the demo so much my xbox froze. I love it a lot. I want more. There is nothing like sweeping across a room and killing four guys, and the melee takedowns are amazing. Even on the hardest difficulty the game doesn't really feel unfair to me (which I can't say about splinter cell games of the past, rainbow six, etc.). This game cannot come out fast enough.
13 March 2010 @ 11:01 am
Behold... My Future
  I will marry Ily.  
  After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Apex in our fabulous Shack.  
  We will have 10 kid(s) together.  
  Our family will zoom around in a White Giant boat.
  I will spend my days as a Mercenary, and live happily ever after.  
whats your future
26 October 2009 @ 06:12 am
I apologize for posting really shitty stuff that is difficult to comment on, but I need to get this out. I dunno how to do a "more under the cut" thing so if you guys can teach me I'll edit the journal and not clog your friends list.

Today marks the second time my father has decided being a raging drunk is a good way to help get Emily to Starbucks for her opening shift. (the fourth in a series of opening shifts which have thoroughly deprived me of sleep)

Yesterday he left saying he'd be back by 6 and that the car would be ready for me to use to drive her to work as opposed to braving the cold, rainy streets. He didn't show up and I only barely noticed him drive by us while we were walking at 3 AM. We left early knowing he hadn't kept his promise to be home, depriving Emily of breakfast. I called him (which I now regret) and he came back around to pick us up and drive us to work.

It was immediately clear that he was drunk, and while we were waiting for the Starbucks to open, he began patronizing Emily about how she should take a stand against Starbucks for making her open so many shifts and that they were taking advantage of her. We told him very plainly that his usual lectures were uncomfortable so early in the morning but he only got more aggressive, eventually we just fucking got out of the car and he drove off, leaving us in the cold, and me to walk back home in it. Emily was crying again, a tally mark of unforgivable trespasses by this man that thinks he is my father.

On the walk back he called me on the phone and asked if I was enjoying my walk in the cold, taunting me in ways similar to the previous time he was drunk, in which he locked himself out of the apartment and begged me to let him in before telling me to get out of the house afterward. (My patience and ability to forgive people is stretched as thin as my sanity now, by the way.)

I told him no, I wasn't enjoying the walk, nor was I enjoying his insistence on interfering with my relationship with Emily. We argued briefly over how he "bought the car for us" before he hung up on me, I was yelling at him on my phone and getting stared at by some people cleaning the street, making me look like some street punk despite the fact that in reality I don't even jaywalk at 3 AM and I've never broken a law or had any alcohol or done any drugs and yet this shit befalls me continually.

Anyway, when I got home it was dark, I hoped to God Dad was asleep because last time he was drunk he insisted on "talking" to me which consists mostly of him yelling to "listen to him" and that I should sit down. Last time this happened, I yelled at him louder than I'd ever yelled, I had a total nervous breakdown and drove him to tears. Lo and behold, he knocks on my door and when I open it he just starts walking away expecting me to follow, I don't.

He tells me to sit and talk with him in the living room, to which I thoroughly and loudly refuse. He asks why I am yelling so loudly again, and why I "always get this way " when he makes Emily cry. I tell him he's not my father anymore, and I'm not his son. I tell him I can't stand it anymore, that I just want to sleep. (It is 4 AM and I am shaking terribly, there is no way I'm sleeping, this is just an escape route to get me to stop talking to him.)

About halfway through the prolonged yelling argument I decide that since I won't be sleeping I will preoccupy myself with trying to etch some sense into my drunk father's mind. Since he never listens to me, and listens to me even less when he's drunk, I approach the situation this way: I carefully examine his criticisms of me and my relationship with Emily (which is, by the way, flawless, perfect, and unbelievably happy, except for my father's intrusions.) and reply against him each time, using his own criticisms, why he feels the way he does, and why he believes I react the way I do.

Furthermore, he describes in detail that he believes Emily is controlling me and that none of this would have happened if I "hadn't brought her here". (Which I didn't, I came to Seattle alone, to help my father recover from a stroke and get away from Emily's family, she stayed behind, but it's not like anyone can stand her parents long enough to maintain sanity. Oh look, my parents are fucked up too, I guess we can't get away from this shit.)

I describe to him that I didn't bring her here, furthermore, he was having drunken episodes before she got here, and I distanced myself from him back then the same way I do now. He blames my reclusiveness on my computer, video games, and naivety regarding real life. I retort that every time he gets drunk, I am pushed farther and farther from the man I believed to be my father, the man I respected.

Further, I tell him that what really gets to me, what really makes me scream, is not just that he made Emily cry. (Because again, I was freaked out by him even before she got here.) I describe that what cuts me deep is that he is the man, the philosopher I respected, whom I based my personal responsibility rules and parts of my own religion on. (I also use these facts to prove to him that "I do listen to him" later) And seeing him degrade himself is disturbing to me. (Further, I spent my entire life avoiding things like alcohol and it's disrespectful and disturbing for him to bring them to my doorstep in the worst way possible. Not that I have anything against alcohol, only the misuse of it.)

He goes on to describe that he believes Emily "speaks up for me" and "acts the way she does" (?) is because her parents have separated and that is traumatizing. Which is totally unrelated to the fact that he's a fucking drunk asshole that needs to fuck off and leave us alone.

I tell him that she does speak for me, and that it does seem to bother him, but it is his drunken episodes in addition to my upbringing (two abusive step-fathers, one who threw me across a room and another who ripped my computer monitor out of the wall because he was mad at my Mom.) that results in my having low self esteem and self-doubt issues. I go on to describe the real-life (and every day) instance where I check my pocket for my house keys before leaving the house, literally 4 or more times, or again, when I made a debit transaction, I check to make sure I have my debit card like five times, no exaggeration.

This truth moves him deeply for some reason and again, I find myself involuntarily comforting/hugging a drunk man who is a threat and a danger to my love life and my personal life. Over time he becomes extremely apologetic, and like last time, tells me I am incredibly intelligent, begs forgiveness, and tells me I'm right about everything, and that he'll never do this again.

I didn't believe him when he said that months ago and I don't believe it now.

The crux of the issue is simple, he's wanted to kick me out of the house when drunk twice now, but the reality is: If I hate it here so much, why don't I leave? The answer is just as simple.

I don't have anywhere else to go. If I got a job, who would take care of Emily when she was sick, or take her to Starbucks at 3 AM so she doesn't get mugged on the street? Furthermore, if I had a job, Emily would have had to deal with Dad's drunken episodes, not me. I can name a thousand reasons why attempting to get a job/move out will do more harm than good, yet I'm surrounded by people totally oblivious to these facts. I know how to get a job, I had one in Texas and I had a major hand in getting Emily her start at Starbucks in the first place. I had a car, I paid insurance, I got gas, I paid rent (still do, but at this point I don't see why), etc. This isn't news, but since people like Dad weren't there to see it, I'm treated like I'm 14. Except in the case of serious matters such as my relationship with Emily, at which point I'm treated like I'm 8. Nobody respects me for any of this. Not even Emily.

I am holding this broken man together by a thread, but I may be more broken than he is. If I'm not, I will be soon.
25 September 2009 @ 07:24 pm
Did you ever say anything to someone in anger that you lived to regret? Did you apologize? If so, did it bring you closer?
Yes. Yes. No.
04 September 2009 @ 10:09 pm
Wow where do I start, I got to do everything I wanted to do (that I wasn't sure I could do) and then DOUBLE that today at PAX.

1) Shook hands with Todd Harris of Global Agenda/Hirez and had a brief conversation.
2) Played Borderlands and talked to THREE Gearbox devs, talking specifically to their community manager in depth about the game.
Borderlands Reflections: Diablo with guns (like hellgate) but done RIGHT. The game plays like call of duty or any other smooth shooter, so you can melee, throw grenades, etc, as if you were playing one of those. Overlaid on top of that is the complexity of a class-based coop game, and on top of THAT is a huge pile of RPG mechanics and stats. It's amazing fun, I didn't want to put it down for a second.
3) Played Diablo 3 as a Monk briefly, plan on heading back in for more.
Reflections: AMAZING. The scroll wheel/two abilities on the mouse thing works really well to help you chain together abilities, the only thing I worry about is how you're almost always using your skills, not your normal auto attack, but maybe that's not a bad thing?
4) Got together with a bunch of TF2 cosplayers and had an amazing time, and helped hand out some PORTAL CAKE to random guys.
5) Watched L4D2 in action and saw a Valve dev take pictures of Emily's costume for "the blog", she might show up on the official tf2 blog now?
6) Got to meet the Hey Ash people and Emily and I will be IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF HEY ASH.

23 August 2009 @ 03:51 am
I would like to ask God if all the hatred and anger I unleashed upon my father tonight was correctly placed and properly used or not, and if there even is an effective use or place for such emotions, as they were so effective as to reduce a drunken threat to my marriage with Emily to nothing but pathetic tears. Also disturbing to me is how good and relieved I felt afterward.
02 February 2009 @ 12:13 am
Ily didn't make a journal entry about it probably because she was OVERCOME BY AWESOME so I'll say it

She's coming over in less than 24 hours

good things will happen


Also, I'm interested in seeing Taken, The Spirit, and Underworld, in that order. Also the GI joe movie looks kind of awesome, there was a trailer for it at the superfailbowl
27 January 2009 @ 11:19 pm
I had already burned the japanese RE5 demo to a DVD and played the hell out of it (then my 360 broke) but the RE5 demo finally came to the US marketplace and what does everyone do? Whine.

"The demo is too hard!" "The executioner/chainsaw guy are invincible I can't beat them" "You can't move and shoot at the same time therefore this game fails" "Ammo is too scarce" "Controls are clunky" I wish kids would grow up. If you hate the game then GTFO the forum to talk about the game. There's a difference between talking about a game and just flat out protesting its existance.

Resident Evil 4 made a vital change to the franchise, which some people didn't like. Here's my take on it: real fans stay fans. I loved RE back then, I love RE now, and I'll love RE5. Capcom is a quality developer, and I trust them to do only good to the RE franchise. (All the movies were horrible though, that will never change.)

It's really disheartening to me to see all the hate RE5 is getting. I mean, I was in that boat too. At first, I saw how similar RE5 was to RE4, and it confused me. But the real truth is that RE5 could be identical to RE4 in every way and still be awesome, you know why? Because Resident Evil 4 totally blew everyone away and never gets old for me, to this day. RE4 did three key things EVERYONE rips off and puts in their games:

1) Context sensitive button function, the idea that one button will allow you to melee, pick up objects, open doors, navigate obstacles, etc. This combined with #2 are the whole FOUNDATION for the gears of war failseries.
2) Over-shoulder cam. Capcom figured out a way to make a third person shooter that wasn't clumsy, but remained immersive, through a totally suprising shoulder camera. This allows you to aim fluently, but still see your character, this way, when someone grabs your character's neck, you go "OH SHIT" because you can SEE that happening right next to you. It's more involving than a first person shooter, yet less clumsy than a third person shooter, it's a little of both.
3) Dynamic item distribution based on character inventory (dead space pretty much stole all 3 of these btw), not only does the game make sure you're low on ammo, but it also distributes items to you based on what items you have in your inventory at the time. This way, if your only gun is a pistol, you will find a lot of pistol ammo, but no shotgun ammo. (Exception: Items hand placed by the game devs, but random items are more common)

So why does Resident Evil 5 NEED to break the mold? RE4 was a huge step in gaming, and RE5 is crazy fun, more guns, more enemies, better graphics, and the ability to play it with a friend, plus Capcom promises to return to the series' roots and make the game scary. What's not to like? So what, people are pissed because the game isn't scary anymore, well, the only scary thing in RE1 was a dog jumping through a window, so if you like jump scares, go back to Doom 3, I'll be over here playing something engaging.

And here's another thing: The demo was easy, I took out the chainsaw Majini and the Executioner by myself. What has gaming come to, if people say the demo is too hard to beat? It's not enough that they have a dedicated AI character healing and reviving them, and giving them ammo, they want the game to play itself. I'm so glad RE5 is still RE, and not Gears, or Halo. Casual gamers, go play your Wii, get out of here.


(Dead Space was awesome btw, I don't mean "stole" in a negative way. If that's possible...)
17 January 2009 @ 01:01 am
So guys, the PS3 is clearly the lowest selling console on the market, dwarfed even by the PS2. While it lacks the technical issues of the 360, and blu-ray won the "HD war" (why everyone needs such highres, it all looks bad on an LCD anyway), it also sports the highest price tag and least amount of worthwhile console exclusives.

My question is, do you think this is what Sony intended? Nintendo *intended* for the Wii to sell in large, cheap quantities (and then gank you with accessory prices), the 360 was designed to have a large online library of content and not necessarily have 2 of it in every house, etc. But did Sony intend for the PS3 to be a low-sale HD machine? Were they expecting this? They drop the price pretty often, so I suspect not, but I wonder if maybe they weren't really planning on devastating the console market. I mean, looking at what they've made from a development perspective it must have been obvious it wasn't going to break any records.

Other than "most consoles jammed into a hospital to research cancer" or whatever it was they were doing with those little cell processors mined from Africa's bowels.